Just don’t serve them tea
I imagine anyone who’s sit for meditation has been confronted by the monkey mind. Monkey mind is the Buddhist term for the restless, unsettled mind which wanders from thought to thought uncontrollably.
Even experienced meditators at times find their minds wandering off to the past, into the future, or indulging in daydreams. A wandering mind can often leave us judging ourselves, concluding we just aren’t “doing it right” or cause us to give up meditation entirely.
Enter this playful, profound quote by Japanize Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki;
"Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.”
Yes, in one sense, Suzuki is talking about meditation. He’s suggesting that it’s completely normal for the mind to wander during meditation. This isn’t us doing it wrong. This is what happens. It’s just what the mind will do. There’s no need to fight it or judge ourselves as we’re not failing at all. Thoughts will inevitably come and go. Our role is to notice when we find ourselves following and entertaining thoughts and instead allow them to simply come and go. Like uninvited guests just passing through.
Suzuki is also talking about the mind in every moment, all the time. This phenomenon of the wandering mind doesn’t only happen during meditation. Studies have shown that the mind can process the arising of more than 6,000 thoughts in a single day. Some thoughts that come will serve us, empower us, help us get things done. Many that come…won’t.
It’s normal to have negetive and at times self-sabotaging thoughts, particularly about things that may happen in the future or things we cannot change from the past. That said, far too often these thoughts bring with them an emotional response that can leave us completely hijacked and limited in our ability to be our best selves. The uninvited guests have taken over the house!
Bottom line
This little bit of wisdom from Shunryu Suzuki serves as a reminder that there is a way to have our thoughts but not become them. As paradoxical as it may seem. Having our thoughts but not becoming them requires strategies that strengthen our awareness of what’s happening this moment to choose which guests to serve tea and which to allow to pass though unattached. Whether this moment is a moment of meditation or a moment in our everyday lives when we encounter thinking that keeps us from feeling fulfilled, accomplished, good enough, or at peace.
Too many “uninvited guests”? Need some strategies to recognize which to welcome and which to let pass through the back door? Drop me a note and let me know!